Friday, August 05, 2005

I am really liking this!

Ah, I have been home three days straight with Ms. Gigi, and I have to admit I think I would really enjoy being a stay at home Mom. Gigi is having fun, the dog is happy, the house is getting cleaned up, and I am (whoa could this really be true...) Relaxed.

So what's stopping me? Money is big thing, but not a deal breaker. Career, yes this is important but how much satisfaction am I getting from it while I am trying to have it all? Gigi's independence, this is important to me. I like that she has a life outside of the house, I would need to find a way to replace this, I guess preschool will start soon.

So what's good about it? Well of course quality time with Gigi, I think she and I are missing this big time. I like being the one to teach her things, like not throwing your food. It's nice. I like that I know exactly what she ate all day and how much. I like sitting and playing games with her and singing songs. I like how she runs in the kitchen when I say it's time for lunch. I like snuggling with her when she wakes up from her nap. I like going to the park with her and taking Sadie to lake. I like that Sadie is with us all day and not sitting in the house alone. I like spending time in my house and taking care of what needs to be done and spending time puttering and improving our home.

What's the risk? One that I'll put my career on hold or a reverse track. I know this is selfish but I worked hard to get to where I am and like it. It's hard to say goodbye to that. Two, not having the safety net of two incomes. I guess those are the biggest issues. Are they serious enough to keep me from staying home, am I wasting precious time that I could be spending with Gigi while I am trying to figure this out?

I am coming to this conclusion, maybe we can have it all, just not at the same time.

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